Common mistakes people make when writing their own vows, and how to fix them

Writing your own vows is one of the more exposed parts of wedding planning, which is exactly why people default to a handful of predictable mistakes while trying to avoid feeling too vulnerable in front of a room full of people.

Trying to be entirely funny, or entirely serious

Vows that are wall-to-wall jokes can undercut the emotional weight of the moment, and vows that are entirely serious can feel stiff read aloud. A ratio of mostly sincere with one or two genuine, specific moments of humor tends to land best.

Trying to tell the entire relationship story

Vows aren't a speech recapping how you met and every milestone since. One or two specific, vivid memories say more than a full timeline, and they're easier to deliver without losing your place.

Writing promises you can't actually picture keeping

"I promise to never go to bed angry" is a nice sentiment and an unrealistic promise. Vows that describe how you'll show up for each other, specific and grounded, tend to hold up better over time than grand, sweeping statements.

Not practicing them out loud

Vows that read well on paper can feel awkward or too long once spoken aloud in front of people. Read them out loud, ideally timed, at least a few times before the day, and cut anything that starts to drag past about a minute and a half.